NOTE: I left you hanging in one of the sentences, sorry about that. Now necessary changes have been made!
I ain’t a love guru but I will assume the role in this entire post.
Two weeks ago my Shakespearean hormones kicked in and inspired me to type something I’ve never really ranted before. I was fortunate writer’s block did not haunt me when I was in the mood to speak out through writing. Additionally, I did not want to see my love for scribbles in the graveyard. This took me about two nights to finish everything. In this piece you’ll be reading in a bit, I wrote about my take on something gals constantly rave about - getting attention from guys and general preferences.
Before that, I confess I cannot stand love stories where two, three, or even ten guys fight to the finish just to win the golden heart of some girl next door.
The gift of attention was never embedded on my DNA for as long as I can remember. Growing up I received little to no attention from the species classified under the Adam system. One plausible reason of this in my case was several years of being educated and pampered in an exclusive school for a decade and a year. While a lot of my schoolmates started dating by high school, I set my sights on graduation and the prosperity ahead of me in college. Every time I would hear someone gushing about some male specie’s mushy text message over dinner yesterday, I would be either enthralled or envious. I was happy for them meeting their matches while I was also overwhelmed with fear of being the lone unattached girl in school. Sure enough, many others were either in their first, second, or third relation by the time we entered college. On the other hand, I was just coming out from the nutshell in the Being Friends with Guys Department with no romance into the mix. I bet I am not that hideous for them to be interested in me only that they decided to conceal it from the public. This sounds recycled and overkilled; however, it happens all the time.
A few months back in college a classmate ranted about how her friend always gets noticed by the guys. There was even an instance when this classmate and this guy were talking merrily until the knockout friend entered the room then the guy forgot about the girl she was talking to all of a sudden. I mean, both of them are impeccably gorgeous, but why only one of them is capturing the eyes of all the males? I asked about it to one of my friends and he answered, “You see Candice, she’s got this innocent charm.” Based on the said statement, should I therefore conclude men in general prefer women who look like kids, possess an innocent aura, and have a huge front? Not to belittle myself, I am the opposite of every given description above. I do not look like a kid, I do not have this angelic vibe, and I have smaller-than-average female assets. To top it all off, I don’t have skin the color of porcelain so as ruler-straight teeth (dental braces everyone?), a ski-jump nose, and chinky eyes. With all the characteristics I’ve mentioned earlier, do you see the common ratio among all of them? If you’re thinking about the conventional preferences of men in women, chances are you got the right answer.
My environment apparently tells me that to make way to a guy’s eyes is to appear younger, have classic Asian eyes, and have a hot body. And from personal experience, I do think it is true.
There are a lot of girls who get all the guys because they have all the above characteristics. How was I able to assume about that? All the types of guys existing on Earth supposedly have the same preferences whether they are classified as the Gameboy-playing loner, the emo poet, or the movie star lookalike. As aforementioned everything is just an observation according to my instincts and subjective to everybody. So if life’s like that, should I look generic in order to pave way to a guy’s attention?
Why don’t they chase girls who are powerful, intelligent, and funny instead of some washed-up Willy Wonka factory reject who only cares about how she looks like but cannot even spell orange? Seeing girls like the latter winning the adulation and lust of millions of pre-pubescent and teenage boys everywhere makes me don’t want to live on this planet anymore (a Futurama reference). I don’t want to sound rubbish or anything but if looks are the only thing to notice then it’s a shallow way of thinking. Yes! I’ve found the word to fit this situation. Shallow are those who think women are only attractive if they are built like Victoria’s Secret Angels. Shallow are those who think women are attractive only if they are 18 yet appear to be 16. Shallow are those who would want to bond in holy matrimony with women who cannot carry a flashy conversation. Shallow are those who think beauty is equated with skinniness and a big bust only.
I am in no way an expert in romance, but I want to say this once and for all: Prince Charming is waiting in the wings. Moreover, he will arrive when I least expect it. Of course I am neither ugly nor plain dull for guys to chase girls like me. Likewise a lot of people have complimented me for uniqueness despite my offbeat behavior at times. Some of them have even told me they have never met someone with an eccentric personality like mine once they get to know me deeper. This is one reason why I am thankful I am not a manufactured product and I’d like to keep it that way. One selfless man is worth a hundred chasing bastards. Having a men chasing and swooning after you won’t make you more beautiful or superior than everyone else. Who cares if you have fourteen stalkers leaving roses on your doorstep on your birthday? A real man would suffice.
Stand out, enjoy the right company, shout loud and proud you are in love with the way you are. Don’t worry. We all have those moments when we feel like no one is paying attention to us. Now we all know the true purpose of this thing called secrets. The Girl Chased by a Dozen Men gene may not be inflicted in my veins but the things I am blessed to have are countless.
Let us head over to my personal experience about this.
Not long ago I started suspecting if there’s anything wrong with me because I did not get as much attention from the guys as some girls do. My romantic history consisted of a hundred crushables, no visible admirers, and a few rejections (but they were lame to the L anyway). I looked at the mirror and said, “Meh, I am not below average in the looks department, I am not an introvert, I can crack a joke, but why guys won’t give me a second look?” What’s more, my looks do not make me a direct descendant of E.T. so never squeal “Phone home!” every time you see me walking down Taft Avenue or anywhere else in Manila. As mirrored in your average teen movie, there are the girls who have all the guys swarm over them like bees and honey. Believe it or not, it happens in real life. In fact I have already encountered several of them. 
A few weeks back my friends and I talked about this issue while feasting on chocolate cake at lunch. One of them shared how difficult it was for her to choose one among her guy friends who were fighting over her affections. Additionally a schoolmate of ours and someone from her street used to be obsessed with her. I asked, “How did you get all the guys?” She replied, “It’s because I’m the only girl in our group.” Sure enough, she has the looks to match with her creative personality so I accept that. Who would not fall for that anyway? Following the response I confessed to my friends, “I wish I was in your place, getting all the guys I meet.” They were startled with what came out straight from my mouth.
Cue my other friend’s words of wisdom, “Nobody likes a heartbreaker! In contrary with what you said, it is never fun having to choose one out of all the guys grudging for your attention. I’ve been through the same phase, I tell you, I lost a friend because I picked another guy over him. If you change, people will have a new perspective of you. Look at me, I changed my personality and people noticed me in a more positive light. Be careful with what you wish for. No girl can get all the guys; it only happens in fiction.” Friend #1 (the one who was the only girl in her old group) followed, “You are great with the way you are. You’re bubbly, you’re funny…just don’t ever change for someone to notice you."
This afternoon I openly asked my friend what she does to make the guys fascinate her which in turn baffled her over my question. Apart from that, I admitted I was slightly jealous of the attention she received from almost all of the male classmates we knew. Therefore I quoted, “Everybody likes you unlike me.” As a practical confidante she acknowledged to me and our other friends, “I actually don’t really want a man in my life right now! You are the one attracting the nice and smart ones, so don’t complain that I get all the guys because I am the one don’t want a boyfriend! I intentionally bore them so they could stay away from me. Trust me; you are very much unaware you are already attracting certain kinds of people.” This kind of shocked me since she just got off a date several weeks prior.
I was spellbound with what my friends said right off the hook. They were the same girls who got an overwhelming amount of attention from the male species in HS and college like I always wanted yet did not feel much better from the experience. Indeed, not all that glitters are gold. Now I have no reason to be jealous of my friends. Besides, they are amazing individuals who empower me along the way. If not for their help, I would not have garnered a boost in my self-confidence. Speaking of self-confidence, one of the reasons why I did not garner much attention from the guys before is because I was too shy to approach them. Thanks to the Sweet 6Teens (my HS friends), I met some guy friends which made me more open to the opposite gender. Along with my college friends, I was no longer formidable in making friends with guys without going through the boyfriend phase. Fast forward to 2013, I am proud to say I can now carry myself more than I ever did before. Back in my freshman year, I would wait for someone some guy to start a conversation with me. But after my block parted ways, I accepted the opportunity to meet males from the other courses and years and I succeeded. So far, I have met a load of guys (in addition to gals) from all years (ID 107-112) from different courses who became my friends. Truly, one thing is for sure: confidence and personality will win you over.
What’s the use of being a human mannequin when you can’t even talk? Moreover, there are a bunch of girls who are beautiful until they start talking. Basically I don’t want to be a person whose purpose is only to be some display at the shopping window. I don’t want to be the girl everyone has had; it only looks good on the screen. Take note of this statement, “A tree bears the best fruits on the top whilst the worst is at the bottom. In order to get the most worth of the bunch, you have to climb all the way to the top to reach it.” You know what it wants to tell us? A number of guys pick out the ones at the bottom because they’re easily available despite the lowly qualities it offers. So don’t look easy, be happy and strive to be the best you can be. Right now I am cool with being just friends with the dudes because being attached or chased by a dozen of them won’t make you any happier or better overall than the rest of the female population. Nonetheless, I have my loved ones surrounding me as I withstand other priorities such as school.
Life is a long road ahead where you will meet more people along the mile. If you got rejected by a hot classmate, then don’t despair as you’ll soon meet someone more valuable than that person. In the real world, having full bangs or looking like a kid won’t make you any more desirable to the whole mankind. Thus, the concept of different preferences for every individual exists. If there is one thing I learned through this, it is quality over quantity. You can have every one out there, but nothing beats a single loyal guy.
I will always remember what my mom told me after I unleashed my troubles, "Okay lang kahit hindi ka pinagaagawan basta may isang tunay na nagmamahal sa yo.”
Now you all know why I detest movies, TV shows, and novels with a plot where a bunch of guys fight over a girl.
Now you all know one of the secrets I’ve been keeping for a long time.
